It's been some time, more than a few years, since I last left my kids with a babysitter, or at the school doors..to head off for full time employment. And at this point, I know it's what I want..to leave the madness (literally!) of being the full time mom, wife, cleaner, lunchmaker, laundrydoer,errandrunner, foodmaker,did I mention cleaner-upper?? and head driver and picker-upper behind? It has been some time and I know it is MORE than enough time and it is definitely a good idea to get the heck out of the house and go back to work.
It takes way longer than I would ever have thought; leaving work after so many years in the corporate arena, I remember just feeling elated ... and always carry to this day the acknowledgement that I left that job I had with absolute assurance I was doing THE RIGHT THING. Never looking back, if that can be believed...and just sure that being at home with the kids was absolutely what was what was good and necessary. Working woman dropout, I used to say slyly to my still-working friends, and happy for it too! And then to return so many years later to the idea of working and bringing my now so much more motherly persona back into the 'professional' world: this is going to be good, I think to myself often as I ponder how to pull it off.
MOMMY MADNESS: it is essentially what it really is that is pushing me to this new point. Understanding what many of the mothers in history and still today go through...it's all about the kids, the husband who essentially looks at the mother unit patronizingly...the friends who wonder, "what does she do all day???" MOMMY is MAD... and not really interested in taking it anymore.. Get something somewhere else going on, I am thinking. It's way past time. Get a Job!
And that is what this blog spot is about. Being the mother who has also been the full time worker, mother, wife, child care worker and then more recently, the mother who also went back to graduate school to further 'explore' intellectual and educational opportunities... and how it is and has been to be that multiple personality in a world that neither essentially respects the enormity of the task (of motherhood) and/or accomodates in a crazed city like this one that I both love and despise (hello, NYC !) for how challenging it is to both live, love and parent inside of.
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What do I do all day?? Oh yeah, middle school tours, chase after an insanely fearless 16 month old and catch her before she falls off the rocking chair/couch/stairs, take her to the Y so I don't have to catch her as often, manage the work study people at the Bikram studio, work on my certification to be a La Leche Leader, take my older kids to after school programs and being the after school librarian at their public school 1 or 2 days per week. Could I possibly think of any other unpaid activities to fill my time with? hmmm, let's see, laundry, some cooking, sorter of mountains of papers and house organizer to name a few.
But, I'm not ready to take that leap back into being a "working" mom, so I'll just live vicariously through you for now, Rachel!
Live on, my dear.
I have been reading and writing (though not online) for some time...and there is lots to be said, told and written about our lives in and out of the nest..so many of us know how truly involved the motherhood piece is here in the big city, and when adding (again) to the workforce (in this exciting economic climate, no less).. well. ...it's worth hearing one another's stories. Thx for commenting. Read on, hugs, RBL
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